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The End

This blog was created as a way to document my great adventure on the East Coast. Sadly, that chapter of my life (and this blog) has come to an abrupt, heartbreaking end. Certain facts about my relationship with Mike have come to my attention, and I need to leave this relationship, this house, and this area right away. I am incredibly lucky to have family and friends supporting and helping me transition back to California.

I do not regret a single decision I have made over the last year, and my love and respect for Mike's family, especially his children, remain in tact in spite of what has happened.

There are no regrets on my end about my part in all of this. I entered into this relationship and made decisions with an open heart, good intentions, and the greatest hope for the future. There is still a bright, happy future ahead of me...just a different one than I thought I had a few days ago. There is no master plan at the moment, but I know that once I am surrounded by friends and family the answers will become clear.

I am forever grateful for the love and support of my family and friends throughout this journey. Knowing that all things happen for a reason gives me strength as I try to make sense of all that has happened.

Potomac Point Winery

Winos? Why, yes!

Saturday evening Mike and I ventured to a relatively new winery just a few miles from our home. Potomac Point Winery here in Stafford opened June 8, 2007. Coincidentally, this weekend marks the first anniversary of my Big Visit to see Mike after we met in New York. What better way to mark the occasion than by indulging one of our favorite activities: boozing! OK, we were a bit classier than that. But still, it seemed very us to spend our time surrounded by alcohol. Lushes!

The drive to the winery was gorgeous; I have dismissed much of Stafford as an unending string of strip malls. Who knew such a beautiful place existed a few minutes away from a Wal-Mart?

It Doesn't Have to be This Way

This is what a happy bridesmaid looks like. The best man doesn't look tortured, either.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/06/09/lw.too.broke.maid.honor/index.html?eref=rss_latest

This article gave me a bit of a flashback to 2005-2007, otherwise known as "The Years of Bridesmaiding." You'd think my sense of indignation would be directed at the Bridezillas who know that their grad student bridesmaids cannot afford the $500 couture gown and yet expect it anyway. Well, yes, I think these women are selfish, delusional freaks. But my real sense of "What are you thinking?" is directed towards the bridesmaids who say "Yes!" with a smile and then go on to complain about taking out a home equity line of credit or selling organs to wear peach taffeta for four hours.

I have had the honor of serving in four weddings and the horror of serving in one. In retrospect, I should have told my Bridezilla to shove her tacky wedding where the sun don't shine, stay home and save myself the headaches and the money. But... sometimes I need to touch the stove - and maybe shove my face against it to drive the point home - before I learn my lesson. So, while her behavior was abhorrent and inexcusable, I allowed it to happen and never put the breaks on the whole fiasco. Not shockingly, I have not spoken to this woman since her wedding day.

In all fairness, I have to give credit to the brides who had reasonable expectations* (buy the dress, show up, be sober for the photos**) and didn't make me feel like garbage when I said, "You know what? I can't do XYZ." Because these women are true friends, they listened and realized that friendships should not be collateral damage in the course of planning a wedding. Lili and Eileen: You Rock! Mom and Judy: I'm sure you were nice because you figured I'd play a part in choosing your nursing home one day. Well played ladies. You are safe. For now.



*None of my friends would ask me not to hit on fellow wedding party members because they know that's not how I roll.
**But once the bar is open and the dancing starts all bets are off!

I Hope She Doesn't Resent Me for This One Day

Juno's first bath and an adorable shot of Daddy-Daughter Nap Time. Can you handle this much cuteness? Can you?

You want a piece of me? DO you?

Come on, watch the hair.

I can't say for certain but I think she's going to be a Daddy's girl.

Because I Am Too Hot and Uncomfortable to Come Up with My Own Material

From "Guest Blogger" Boy Chris:



Here's how I think the conversation went down when this picture was taken:


Rebecca: "Christen, I want that bouquet. Seriously. It's mine."

Christen: "Well I just want another drink. This marriage thing is overrated."

Rebecca: "I think that girl is eyeing me. You want to go throw down?"

Christen: "Whatever....as long as it gets me closer to the bar. Let's roll."



What can I say? The kid is familiar with our work.

Nice to see the DeFazio Name in the Headlines...

and the words "hign speed pursuit" or "court sentenced to..." do not appear in the article.

http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1210312510265440.xml&coll=7

Isn't She Lovely?

Our new Mama gave me the go-ahead to post pictures of sweet Juno. I am so glad, because Bubba has been dying to see pictures of his future wife.

These were taken in the hospital and as much as I am dying to see a new picture every day, I know I shouldn't expect the new parents to bother with things like cameras when they are hypnotized by her beauty and sweetness.

I love her so much already and cannot wait to do all of the girly things with her, and then take her to a baseball game and let her get dirty and be wild. Being an Auntie rules.

Juno and Mommy getting acquainted.

Mommy provides a nice place to rest after a day of adjusting to life on the outside.

"Who put this hat on me? Hello? I am my mother's daughter and will not stand for anything less than stunning."

Update on the Little Goddess

The baby has a name: Juno Constance. I called Lili a few days ago to get her permission to post about her firstborn...something about me trying to respect boundaries and all that. We'll see how it works out. Anyway I haven't heard back from her since OH YEAH! she had a baby. I mean, if given the choice between answering emails and phone calls from your oldest and spazziest friend and, oh, I don't know... caring for your child which would you choose? Plus that new baby smell is intoxicating; could be weeks before the new mama resurfaces.

Juno is named for the Roman goddess and her late maternal grandmother. She has a great deal of strength, beauty, class and wisdom on her side already. Hopefully her future interactions with me won't dilute any of that.

I will hold off on the pictures until I get permission, but I know that the name has all four of my loyal readers in suspense and I figured it's not a secret, so here you go.

Congratulations to the entire family!

It's Like Hanging with Sinatra

We just attended our first Homeowner's Association (HOA) meeting and guess who is now on the Board of Directors? Yep, Captain Rules Enforcement (sorry, Major Rules Enforcement) was suckered in almost immediately. Since I am not technically a homeowner I was not eligible to serve our community; my contribution was poking Mike until he raised his hand. Crafty!

A Neighborhood Watch program is in the works, so my nosiness may actually have a useful purpose. Just call me Gladys Kravitz.

New York Weekend

Mike and I happily embarked on our first road trip together to visit his family in New York. We had a great time and are still on speaking terms after 16 hours in a car together. Sounds like a successful vacation to me!

Time with Mike's family always means great food, wine and lots of teasing and banter. Needless to say, I felt right at home.

We were very fortunate to spend a lot of quality time with all three kids and celebrated Hannah's 6th birthday a little early. Thank you for a great weekend!

The birthday girl picks some flowers for her Dad. All together now: aaawwwww!

Kaiden helps Hannah line up her presents while "Sister Julia" takes a break from texting.

Dad and his Mini-Me Kaiden hanging out and rocking their Marine Corps t-shirts.


Sisters snuggling. Sister Julia is excellent at entertaining and pacifying the little ones!


Dad takes the little ones on a paddleboat ride in the pond in Grandma and Papa's backyard.

And the girls take a spin. The conversation went something like this:

Hannah: "Can I steer?"

Julia: "No"

Hannah: "Please, can I steer?"

Julia: "NO!"

Me: "Do you think Grandma has some wine open?"

Didn't you have your own outdoor bistro when you were little? Kaiden and Hannah fuel up on hot dogs. Completely necessary if you are going to wear down five adults and your big sister.


Pretty in Pink! Grandma knows how to shop for the princess.

You'd think they'd run off just a little bit of energy in the yard. Nope.

Even Old Lady DeFazio gets in on the game of chase. She forgot to take her Flinstone vitamin and tried to convince everyone to take a nap. Care to guess the answer to that one?

Make a wish!

Wise girl saved room during dinner for dessert. I'm very proud.

Shortly after this photo was taken Julia contacted Amnesty International. Something about being tortured and having to be seen taking a family photo in the front yard. The horror!

IT'S A GIRL!

I'm an auntie again! No name yet for Baby Fleetfoot, but according to her mom she is 7lbs, 1 oz, has lots of hair and is perfect. Mom, Dad and Baby are doing great and resting now.

Elisabeth and Nick welcomed their baby girl late last night after 30 hours in labor (think about that for a minute: that's almost an entire work week) and no drugs. Let me repeat that: my girl went natural and was able to form complete sentences this morning. I had a headache the other day and went rifling through my medicine cabinet looking for leftover Vicodin hoping to make the pain stop. As my mom said, "She's a tough cookie." Indeed.

As pictures and more details come in, I'll be sure to post updates.

And I SO called it on the girl thing.

Congratulations Lili and Nick!

Anniversary Dinner

Since Mike was away during our actual anniversary, we celebrated with a dinner out in Fredericksburg Saturday night. My man suited up and I busted out the heels and pearls. We looked real respectable-like if I do say so myself. We saw a few cute young couples out for their pre-prom dinner and I wanted to take their picture too, but realized that I was bordering on crazy old lady behavior and decided against it. Plus Mike hinted he would ditch me.

Yes, we are cheesy enough to ask the waitress to take pictures of us. Enjoy!

Cheers!

Our waitress even hooked us up with some free dessert!

Push It Real Good

How cute is this guy?

We took advantage of a break in the torrential rain Saturday to do some yardwork. After a trip to Wal-Mart to buy a lawnmower, weed whacker and cute orange gardening gloves (with polka dots!), we did some work in our backyard. OK, Mike did pretty much all of the work while I took a ton of pictures and scooped up the trimmings. Always glamorous around here.

Belated Birthday Pictures

Mike turned 40 on April 26 and we had a full house for the occasion! Eileen and David (our inadvertent matchmakers) and Mike's brother Devan and his girlfriend Jamie came down from New York. I was a little nervous about being a good hostess and making sure everyone had a nice time. My grandparents and both sets of parents would make Martha Stewart look like a derelict, so I had some high standards for myself. In reality if you just have your fridge stocked with lots of food and booze, no one cares if the bath towels don't match the shower curtain. Lesson learned.

As usual, we spazzed out and pretty much forgot to take any pictures. There is zero photographic evidence that Devan and Jamie were even here (sorry guys, we love our blender!); same goes for the friends who stopped by for a barbecue on Saturday afternoon. Whoops. In my defense, I was busy in the kitchen (take a moment to picture that scene) and the gang was having such a nice time visiting and hanging out, no one paid any attention to the camera I put out.

Here's a few shots we did manage to take. Most of them are from Sunday when we stopped in Alexandria on the way to the airport with Eileen and David. Yeah, we're lame.

The BFF's Mike and David


So excited to have my girl Eileen here, too!

What a handsome group!

I Thought I Left These in San Francisco?

An earthquake hit Northern VA early this morning. It was a whopping 1.8 and the interviews with the locals are hilarious. It's like they found the most high-strung crazies and asked for their reactions. You'd think buildings had collapsed and the city was on fire. Needless to say, everything's cool and there have been no injuries or property damage.

1.8? Amateurs!

One Year for Mike & Christen

May 5, 2007: Our first photo together. We weren't smitten or anything...

Mike and I met a year ago today...and what a year it's been. Cross-country flights, lots of time standing around in airports, marathon phone calls, text-messages, meeting each other's families, and big decisions - not to mention a big move - have consumed us for the past year and it has been completely worth it.

We owe our good fortune to Eileen and David. I mean, how else would our paths have crossed if not at their wedding rehearsal?* Thanks for getting married, guys!

If you had told me that day that I would meet someone who likes Sinatra and pirates and The Simpsons and that I would leave San Francisco within a year to move in with him, I never would have believed it. But here we are and I wouldn't change a thing. Happy Anniversary!


*Yes, I hit on the best man at my friend's wedding. But in my defense, he didn't seem to mind.

Is there a 12-step program for this?

The first step to dealing with a problem is admitting it: I am addicted to Facebook. As one of those smug "MySpace-is-for-12-year-olds-and-pedophiles" types, I was reluctant to check it out. At the urging of some former colleagues who said it's a fun way to reconnect with old classmates and such, I decided to give it a whirl and I am hooked. It has completely tapped into my long-dormant internet stalking tendencies, but in a legal, non-threatening way. I've even been able to see pictures of old crushes and boyfriends without having some awkward conversation. Awesome.

So, if you're on Facebook and we're not friends yet, look me up. I'll write on your wall and send you a piece of flair. Woo!

Really? You think?

This article http://health.msn.com/health-topics/addiction/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100202148&GT1=31033# may explain why I punched Boy Chris in the neck in Vegas...or why I felt it was necessary to take a swing at a friend's ex-boyfriend at a fraternity party when he gave me attitude...or why I was almost kicked out of a biker bar on my 21st birthday for being "too rowdy." Thank God someone did the appropriate research on this subject, because my late-teens through mid-twenties weren't proof enough of this fact.

Next thing you know they'll publish an article titled "Cocaine Can Make you Jumpy."

We're OK

The news is a-buzz with reports of storms and tornadoes in Virginia, but our part of the state has escaped relatively unscathed. In fact, we had no idea until we watched the news last night before bed and early this morning. We had some rain yesterday, which messed up our plans for some hiking on Mike's day off, but nothing as hardcore as what the southern part of VA experienced. Just wanted to assure anyone turning on the news and seeing footage of flooded streets and roofs ripped off of houses as reporters declare that we're all underwater and homeless: We're OK but keep those who have been displaced in your thoughts and prayers, if you would.

Pictures & Updates

Check out the posts "Finally," "Wedding Crashers," and "Biff's Baby" for some updated photos of events from my trip to So Cal. Woohoo! Pictures and stories from Mike's 40th birthday bonanza to come...

Wedding Crashers

Following the lead of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, my small group of wedding crashers distinguished ourselves by standing out: we danced, drank champagne and sampled cake. Lest you think us boorish and rude, I have to point out that we started out standing by the open doorway to admire the scene and were invited in by some legitimate guests. They took our picture and thanked us for being so enthusiastic and friendly. Um, OK... you're welcome... I guess? Thanks for not calling security on us!

Courtney, Lilli, Jon and Girl Chris enjoying some cake and champagne. Stay Classy!

I swear there were more flowers in one centerpiece than in the entire Rose Bowl parade. Crazy!

We Are So Fancy!

So, I'm watching The Real Housewives of New York right now. My little incubus of viral plague (aka Mike) is asleep so I'm indulging my guilty pleasures, OK? Anyhoo, one of the little rich kids is having a birthday party and he opened a pirate ship exactly like the one I got Bubba for his birthday! See, Bubba? Sissy may be a dork but she gets you good stuff and loves you like none other.

Speaking of the little monkey, here is a photo Judy sent; I am not including the "naked baby in the backyard" shot since I don't want the FBI arresting me.

Biff is Having a Baby!

Parents-to-be excited to nest for the little one!

Reading the card from Auntie C. Lils said, "I recognize that handwriting!"
upon opening it. I should think so - we passed enough notes in junior high and high school to fill a book!

A Boppy Lounger from Auntie C! Just what they wanted!

My dearest friend Elisabeth (aka Lili, Biff, and various other nicknames) is expecting her first baby in May. She and her lovely husband Nick are thrilled and will make fabulous parents. The gender is a surprise, but I am thinking girl. OK, hoping for a girl. I know it's not cool to have a preference, but I can't help it: I am dying to buy pink stuff and dress her up in sweet outfits and take her to get pedicures and high tea. The heart wants what it wants.

To fully understand my excitement, you need to know how important Biff is to me. We're talking about my partner in crime for the last 24 years, the person who could blackmail me if she wanted, the one I've called at all hours of the day and night in tears, laughing hysterically, and absolutely wasted (sometimes all of the above in one conversation)... we've seen each other through it all. Watching her enter into this crazy adventure of parenthood is exciting and I cannot wait to meet this little one.

Sunday I was fortunate to be able to attend her baby shower in San Diego. Her fantastic sister-in-law Jenn threw a great party and the parents-to-be scored some much-needed gear for the wee one. Lils was glowing and gorgeous... you'd think growing a person inside you would take a toll, but nope. The chick looks great and can still run circles around me.

Hard to believe that the next time I see my girl she'll be a Mom. Wow.

No Fly Zone

Why are cross-country flights so traumtic for me? I've been struggling with some health issues since the fall , which usually make themselves known somewhere over Kansas. Not pretty, kids. Friday's flight to LAX was no different: I threw up in the airplane bathroom after eating a Subway sandwich. Apparently I didn't specify that I wanted them to hold the salmonella. Jeez. By Saturday late afternoon I was able to keep food down and enjoy my weekend, but it was a little scary being so far from home, alone, and trying to navigate various social events in an unfamiliar city.

Needless to say, I'm thrilled to be home and healthy again. Now if we can get Mike over his cold we'll be back to normal.

Finally!

After 8 years of blissful togetherness, my dear friends Chris and Katie made it official and got themselves good and married on Saturday in Pasadena, CA. The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding and the happy couple looked like they belonged on a cake. Beautiful ceremony and an insanely fun party. Chris' family cracks me up; I haven't seen them in ages and was greeted with hugs and exclamations of "Girl Chris!" (Chris being "Boy Chris") all over the place. Good times.

Boy Chris and Girl Chris: still going strong at the after-party. Woo!

Boy Chris was one of my first friends at the University of Puget Sound. We met on the second day of orientation and were pretty much inseparable for the next three years. Our shared love of Adam Sandler, Star Wars and mocking others bonded us for life, and I wouldn't dream of missing such an important day in his life.

Chris is incredibly lucky to have the lovely Katie (she's a brilliant vet and anyone who helps animals is OK by me), and she is also lucky to have a great man who adores her like he does. Congratulations, you crazy kids!

And yes, the "Elaine" dance made an appearance but I don't think the moment was captured on film. Thank God. No one needs to see that in freeze frame!

Just Married!

Kim and Justin taking notes on the wedding. You're up next, Kids!

Cake! Mmm...

Guns N' Cupcakes

Tuesday Julia and I had a lovely, lazy morning baking cupcakes while watching Gilmore Girls. The poor kid had never tried cream cheese frosting (it's one of my favorite food groups!) and now I think I've ruined her for life. We hit a sugar crash by the time Mike got home, but rallied and checked out the Marine Corps Museum in Quantico. Mike was excited to show Julia around and I think she was pleasantly surprised by how interactive and fun it is.

Example of the good times that await if you choose to visit:

Proud Dad coaches his daughter during target practice in one of the "interactive" exhibits. I chose to play photographer rather than embarrass myself.



Her "what I did on my spring break" essay will cover a wide range of activities. Guns, baking... pretty standard stuff, really.

Watching Mike watch young Marines scope out his underage daughter may have been the highlight of the day for me. He didn't bust out his signature line, "Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?" but I could tell he was ready to throw down if one of them even tried to speak to her. Julia was completely oblivious to the attention she garnered. I had fun teasing her about it...not to mention torturing Mike. Ah, good times.

Sunday Family Fun

Mike and Julia standing in front of some building in DC.

Since Julia is here on vacation, we've tried to provide her with fun options but let her decide where to go and what to do. Mike and I anticipated she'd sleep in and want to watch movies and generally ignore us... basically, she'd be like us when we were her age. Not only was she up and ready to face the day long before I was, but she was incredibly easy-going about activities.

We hit old town Fredericksburg first, but found most of the fun stores were closed on Sunday. After lunch at a pub and some back-and-forth over what to do next, Julia suggested a visit to the Holocaust Museum. We headed home for a quick wardrobe change (Spring has gone into hiding temporarily) and sped on up to DC for some Smithsonian action. Since we got off to a bit of a late start, we weren't able to see half of the museum, but what we did see was pretty powerful. A bit depressing but educational and worthwhile, for sure.

We wandered around the National Mall for awhile longer before heading home for cookies, pizza, Battlestar Galactica, and some nice family bonding time.

Ninjas!

This picture kills me. I'm not sure who's having more fun here. Such cute boys!

Munchkins!

Proud Dad with his beautiful kids

Samurai Kaiden shows off his skills

Hannah and her doll on the deck. Apparently she likes her gifts!

Dad enjoying dinner with Hannah and Kaiden

Saturday was a busy day for us: took a bunch of boxes to recycling, ordered our dining room table (which should arrive any minute now - yay!), did some last-minute cleaning and organizing...and finally welcomed Mike's kids! Julia, his oldest, is spending her spring break with us while the little ones, Hannah and Kaiden, enjoy some time in colonial Williamsburg with their mom and her boyfriend. We had all the kids here for dinner and presents from Japan (Dad outdid himself in the gift department), while his ex-wife and her boyfriend took a break and got some dinner alone.

The kids really like the house and seem eager to spend time here. I'm hoping we'll have a full house at some point this summer! I baked a ton of cookies for dessert and for the little ones to take on the road and enjoy. Scored some points with the baked goods. Bribery may not be ideal but it works.